Friday, September 21, 2007

potty wars continue, i'm raising my white flag at midnight

I'm at my wits end. I've had it....and I don't know what else to do. My oldest (she is older by 2 minutes!) refuses to pee in the potty all the time. She knows it's wrong to pee her pants and yet she does it at least 3 times a day. It isn't like she doesn't know how, she was potty trained at 2 and somehow we have backtracked to the point she refuses to pee in the potty while she is at home and sometimes when she is at other people's homes.

It isn't like I haven't tried a variety of solutions. I've tried setting a timer and telling her to go potty about every 15 minutes. I've tried talking to her. I've tired the whole being supportive and praising her when she does go by herself while not getting upset when she does pee in her pants. I've tired spanking, I've tried time out, I've tried everything I can think of and I'm out of ideas. I need help. I honestly don't know what else to do.

With everything I try she still pees all over herself. I find her sitting in a corner holding her pants so she doesn't have to go to the potty. She would rather pee all over herself than take the 10 steps to the potty. I keep hoping that maybe she will just outgrow it but that just doesn't seem to be happening.

She is due to start school next year and honestly I can't even think of sending her if she continues this, I'll have to hold her back. I tried pre-school last year and she still managed to pee herself at least once a week and she was only at the school for 3 hours.

The doctor just says she is just learning but at this rate the learning curve is so long she might be 10 before she grasps the concept. I don't know what is wrong, it's either her or I and every time she pees in her pants rather than in the potty I would just rather drive off a cliff or jump off a 15 story building than deal with it because now every time it happens I just see red. She instantly knows its wrong, and yet she would rather cover it up and stay in her wet pants.

What amazes me is that this is the same child who awakes during the night to go pee in the potty. So it isn't like she doesn't know how or that her bladder is so small she can't hold it...she can awake from sleep, walk to the potty, and pee.

I'm loosing the potty wars and honestly I'm beginning to feel like I don't have the strength to even continue to try and fight. I'm so close to just putting her in pull-ups and being done with it. I'm tired of washing underwear every day just so she can run through them again the next day. I'm tired of not understanding...I'm just tired.

Anyone have twins who took a really long time to potty train? Anyone have secrets to share? Anyone out there that can offer even a small glimmer of hope?? Come on I'm dying here....I need a life line.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Not exactly sure when this started, but it's not at all uncommon for a child to regress when a new baby has arrived. Even if it started before the baby, it may have increased since his arrival.

My advice is to let it go. Don't make any fuss whatsoever. If you HAVE to change her into dry clothes, do it completely expressionless, as if it's the most normal thing in the world to change wet underwear. If there's a mess somewhere, do the same. Don't give her any attention over this, positive or negative. She knows what's right & she'll do it eventually if she sees that this is no longer getting a reaction from you.

Don't project into the future & even consider not sending her to school over this. It will take care of itself long before school starts.

The best advice I can give is to completely diffuse this -- make it a non-issue & act completely nonchalant about it. The attention she gets from this will disappear.
Worth a try since nothing else seems to be working.

Anonymous said...

I think you should send her to boarding school!