Ireland now has a boyfriend and I have found all the sweet notes in which she has filled the spaces with her expression of love for this little boy. He has called the house and invited her to come to his basketball games and she came home with a nice box of chocolates on Valentine's Day, not to mention a sweet heart necklace she wears constantly.
She has definitely been bitten by the love bug and while I know it is the sweet innocent type of love that should be easy and worry free for parents. Well, most parents. I on the other hand am flooded with desire to have many age appropriate conversations about behavior since love has entered the air.
I realize my over reacting is from my childhood experiences and I want to save her from any possible harm. I had the sweetest childhood boyfriend for most of my elementary school experience. I was lucky and still count his mother and himself some of the sweetest people I know. But while he was sweet there were others during that time that were not.
I am torn between wanting to keep my little girls as innocent and free as possible and wanting them to have enough knowledge to protect themselves if needed. I don't want them feeling as I did in that they couldn't speak up or fight back. I want with all that I am to protect them from ever feeling that kind of pain.
I realize I am projecting and while I want to save them from all evils I will be unable to do so every time. I must continue to keep the lines of communication open and constantly reassure that regardless of what happens good or bad I will always be there for my girls, for my children. I want them to know my love for them is unconditional and I want them to feel safe to talk freely.
If I can't keep them talking what chance do I have to guide them along the way? If they don't trust me with their successes and fears how will they trust they can come to me with their disappointments?
Life is full of unpleasant occurrences. It is full of ups and downs and they will undoubtably get hurt along the way just as they will have those moments of pure happiness and jubilation. I can't protect them from the world because by trying to do so I rob them of the wonderment of the world.
I know that the toughest years are still ahead of us. I know without a doubt there will be tears shed both in joy and in sorrow by us all. I have a heavy heart when I think of these years ahead. It is during those years my children will begin to make their own decisions. They will realize that at the end of the day they choose the path they walk.
I can guide and offer advice, but I will be unable to make the decisions for them. I will have to trust that I taught them well and empowered them to trust in themselves. I want them to always remain open to the wonders of the world, to love wholeheartedly, have the strength to tackle any challenge and understand that no matter the situation I will always love them and do what I can to comfort and help.
Today is innocent. One daughter with a boyfriend and another who at this point wants to remain alone for all her life. I honestly don't know which is scarier to me, but I'm grateful that my girls are only 8 and there are many more years ahead of them to truly come to understand themselves and what they want out of life.
Here's hoping they will be unafraid to follow their heart and are spared many of life's scary moments. After all, they will only be mine for a short while, but they must be able to live with themselves every day, hopefully knowing that their parents love them entirely.
