As many I watched as the horror unfolded at Virginia Tech. At first I was just dumbfounded…could they really be talking about Virginia Tech…I've been there…I know that place…I had friends who went to school there….attended football and basketball games there….they must be mistaken. It felt so close to home that it couldn't possibly be true.
As more and more news came out about this terrible situation I realized this was no mistake and the full terror of the situation began to sink in. I immediately called family. I'm not entirely sure why…none of them were there or even in the area but this was happening "just over the mountain" as a West Virginian might say. This was our neighbors they were talking about. I just wanted to make sure my family was okay, knowing all the while they were fine.
The problem was…our neighbors were not okay and I felt powerless to help them. I was torn between continuing to watch the television and wanting so badly to just get away from it. I didn't know any of the victims or their families and haven't been on the campus in years but still it felt like it was taking place in my backyard. I just wanted so much for the news to be wrong but the death toll just kept climbing and the horror just seemed to grow.
My heart goes out to these students, professors, and all their family and friends. I don't know how you get beyond this…how you begin to feel safe again but I'm sure these people will show amazing strength as they already have. The situation just raises so many questions and even more fears. Is there any way to truly feel safe after this? Is there anything else the university could have done? Could this have been prevented?
Maybe I'm naïve but how do you reach so many students coming from so many different directions? How do you shut down a campus? How do you keep everyone safe? It's been mentioned that if nothing else the fire alarms should have been pulled so the students/professors would know something was going on. In reality, I don't see this helping. How often in school have you heard the fire alarms and reacted in panic or fear?
It's also been mentioned that emails should have been sent sooner…how about commuters? Do all students check their email before heading to an 8am class? When you awake to start your day and everything seems fine why would you check the campus television or email to make sure everything was fine?
I guess the police could have barricaded every entrance so commuters couldn't have gotten on campus but even that takes time. I guess looking back on the situation many people smarter than I will see what could have been done or done better but even with the best laid plans there seems to be loop holes for those that truly wish to create problems.
As much as I feel pity, sorrow, and confusion concerning the shooter I still place the blame upon his shoulders. He chose his actions. Yes, he was disturbed but it was his actions that created the situation. These students, faculty, and administration were put face to face with great fear and to judge how any of us or they should react when faced with such fear seems at best irrelevant and at worst unhelpful, again maybe I'm just naïve. It's said often that hind sight is 20/20 and the only thing any of us can do is learn from the past and work towards the future.
I'm sure the school/university systems will undertake some changes in hopes to make them safer or at least make those attending feel safer. In the end, only so much can be done and pointing fingers just serves to tear down the community so many are in need of.
My thoughts, prayers, and heart goes out to all those affected. I hope they find peace and understanding. I hope our neighbors are able to rise from the ashes stronger than ever not allowing this to define them.
Thursday, April 19, 2007
Monday, April 9, 2007
Accepting the "out with the old"
Holidays change once you enter adulthood and find yourself with a family and responsibilities. No longer are you leisurely awaking to find your parents preparing breakfast or eager to see you arrive at your surprise. Once you find yourself with jobs, kids, and homes of your own it becomes more and more difficult to make the trips to see family.
When your childhood is built upon the idea that holidays are about family and suddenly you find yourself unable to make the "family" get-together it seems less like a holiday and more like any other day.
Since I became a wife I have spent more holidays away from family than with family. This is usually not by choice and in a few instances we have been lucky enough to have at least one family member visit. However, even with a select few family members visiting during a holiday is still leaves much to be desired. The hustle and bustle of carefully planning on seeing two different families without upsetting either set and the balancing of meals isn't the same. There are no houses to visit…no special meals to attend. Maybe I'm being a party pooper but I can't see the sense in preparing a large meal for two children (who would rather eat chalk than sit through a long meal) and two adults.
Some of the loneliness during these holidays are now filled with the imagination and wonder of small children but even that has its limits. Once the surprise is over and toys have been played with even the child is wanting more.
Maybe this year I reflect more simply because I am with child and thinking of how I might be spending his first Christmas….away from family. It isn't that the holidays aren't unbearable but rather the discontent I feel knowing my children aren't experiencing the craziness of family holidays. No Christmas Eve at Nana's followed by Christmas morning at Grandma's along with fitting in at least 2 Thanksgiving dinners and 2 Easter dinners not to mention making time for other family that has traveled in for the holiday.
No traditions….granted that isn't true. We have traditions they just aren't the traditions Sean and I grew up with thus not "our" traditions but ones we have somehow been forced to take on. Midnight mass just isn't the same at 7pm without the whole O'Sullivan clan…I miss midnight mass followed by the stop at the Wheby's party. Easter just isn't the same when you go to mass without any family and won't be seeing them at all during the day. Dinner isn't the same without the amazing family antics that take place regardless of where you are.
I want my children to understand that family is a part of holidays but when work and other responsibilities get in the way of carrying out that tradition what is one to do? Start new ones….even if they aren't the ones you want or even like. I guess though it is preparation for those years to follow in which I will be waiting for our children with spouses and kiddies in tow to stop by attempting the impossible balance of two families and all the craziness that follows.
When your childhood is built upon the idea that holidays are about family and suddenly you find yourself unable to make the "family" get-together it seems less like a holiday and more like any other day.
Since I became a wife I have spent more holidays away from family than with family. This is usually not by choice and in a few instances we have been lucky enough to have at least one family member visit. However, even with a select few family members visiting during a holiday is still leaves much to be desired. The hustle and bustle of carefully planning on seeing two different families without upsetting either set and the balancing of meals isn't the same. There are no houses to visit…no special meals to attend. Maybe I'm being a party pooper but I can't see the sense in preparing a large meal for two children (who would rather eat chalk than sit through a long meal) and two adults.
Some of the loneliness during these holidays are now filled with the imagination and wonder of small children but even that has its limits. Once the surprise is over and toys have been played with even the child is wanting more.
Maybe this year I reflect more simply because I am with child and thinking of how I might be spending his first Christmas….away from family. It isn't that the holidays aren't unbearable but rather the discontent I feel knowing my children aren't experiencing the craziness of family holidays. No Christmas Eve at Nana's followed by Christmas morning at Grandma's along with fitting in at least 2 Thanksgiving dinners and 2 Easter dinners not to mention making time for other family that has traveled in for the holiday.
No traditions….granted that isn't true. We have traditions they just aren't the traditions Sean and I grew up with thus not "our" traditions but ones we have somehow been forced to take on. Midnight mass just isn't the same at 7pm without the whole O'Sullivan clan…I miss midnight mass followed by the stop at the Wheby's party. Easter just isn't the same when you go to mass without any family and won't be seeing them at all during the day. Dinner isn't the same without the amazing family antics that take place regardless of where you are.
I want my children to understand that family is a part of holidays but when work and other responsibilities get in the way of carrying out that tradition what is one to do? Start new ones….even if they aren't the ones you want or even like. I guess though it is preparation for those years to follow in which I will be waiting for our children with spouses and kiddies in tow to stop by attempting the impossible balance of two families and all the craziness that follows.
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