a world though eyes of a child

Being a mommy blogger I often focus on the obstacles I face with raising my 3 children. I muse about the mountains we are climbing as they seek independence and I long for morals and manners. I write about the hard stuff, the stuff that makes me want to pull out my hair. I do this because...well, parenting is a tough job and while I love my children beyond measure I don't want to be one of those parents who ignores that it's the most difficult job a person can have.

However, today I'm taking a break. No fussing, complaining, or worries today! Today I'm going to be one of those mom's who brag endlessly about the wonderfulness of their children. Today, is all things positive.

My oldest, Erin, is an aspiring thinker. With her beautiful smile and caring nature she opens up a world to me that I still can't believe is possible. She loves to read (or rather be read to I suppose) and amazes me with her willingness to learn.

She may have a twin but she knows that she is her own person and with that comes different desires than her sister may have in mind. She isn't afraid to choose a path different than those around her.

Erin is also an astounding big sister. She works to keep her twin in line (as well as her mom) while taking a caring and attentive attitude to wee one. She corrects us when we have said/done something wrong while finding much joy in making wee one laugh and giggle.

Ireland, my wonderful middle child is the never ending comedian. There isn't a day that she isn't making funny faces or sticking her tongue out in the hopes to get a laugh. She stage dives, tells jokes, and dances all to get a laugh.

Beyond laughter the kid loves to sing. She can repeat a melody with amazing precision. While very shy about her singing she will grace her brother with a song to calm him down or suddenly break into song if she believes no one is paying her any mind. She remembers complete songs and has even began to sing along with my french music while riding in the car.

She immediately knows what she likes and dislikes when it comes to music. She has no problem asking me to replay a song or informing me that we need to hear the next one, the current one just isn't cutting it...and I'm not talking kiddie music here folks. I'm talking greats...Clapton, Fleetwood Mac, Rolling Stones, BB King, Miles Davis...the list could go on but you get the point.

Ireland is also quite the athlete. Just now she was gracing us with the new found ability to stand on her head. She has little abs that would make grown women jealous and this is all with no push or comment from mom...she just enjoys all things athletic.

Michael, what can I say, he's my baby boy. With a smile that instantly melts my heart he has proven to be a good dose of testosterone to the house. He amazes us with his ability to figure things out. Give him a toy and it isn't all about fun....it's about finding what said toy does and how well it does it. He is rather fond of a shape sorter from his aunt given this talent.

He is a little explorer. Wee one is moving about so quickly these days. I know he will be walking in weeks possibly. He loves a good tickle and thinks that getting mommy to copy him is hysterical.

While he doesn't sing he loves to hear music. His head whips around if music should come on or his sisters begin to sing. He dances around as if music is the greatest thing to ever grace his life.

I love my children, there is no doubt. They have added something to my life that words can not describe. They grace me with so many things my life was missing before they entered this world. They teach me so much each day while challenging me along the way.

They remind me that this world is worth fighting for and that it's the simple things in life that are usually more worth while.

So, in the spirit of my kids.....forget the toys...give me a box and an imagination any day and I'll show you how the world can be a much better place.

what about terrible 4's?

The atmosphere in this household is...well...out of control. Each day the girls are in a fight before breakfast. Screaming, hair pulling, and even a few punches and shoves. It's crazy. I feel like a referee these days. Last evening they ended up on the floor rolling around wrestling because someone took a shoe off a doll.

Besides the incessant fighting we are having a major power struggle. I say no and the girls respond with a resounding yes while attempting to do as they wish. They have screaming fits when they do not get what they want, they have even kicked and smacked at me in the process.

I feel like I'm in a war zone and fighting for my very existence. The girls are going through a difficult time, this I know. Their father isn't around and they are definitely daddy's girls even if he or they try to deny it. They are living in a new home, and all that they have known for their short 4 years of life is different. So, I'm trying to have a little patience. My patience however...is wearing thin.

With each fight, with each screaming fit, with each tear for daddy my heart sinks a little more knowing that the only way to get through this is to stick to my guns. Continue to make them tow the line and behave in a manner that is appropriate. Which means sending them to time out each time they misbehave or taking something away from them each time they knowingly disobey, and yes even an occasional smack on the bottom when they really push the limits.

I don't like the look in their eyes when I must punish them. I don't like the fear they seem to possess. I know that fear only gets you so far and at some point if they fear me they won't seek me out when they need help for fear of my reaction.

I don't want to instill fear, I want to instill morals, manners, and the ability to listen. It just seems that for now punishment mixed with positive reinforcement is the best way to deal with the situation.

I also know that Easter this year...will be very low key as far as the bunny goes. Too much only seems to give my children a sense of false entitlement and the desire we are going for is gratitude and willingness to help others.

Parenting involves somewhat of a learning curve and hopefully Sean and I are quick studies because it's beginning to get deep around here.

road trip

I have now lived in WV for 3 weeks. To say this transition has been easy would be the understatement of the year. I’ve changed homes, changed surroundings, and taken up parenting solo.

While I know (at least I hope I do) that once husband is able to make the move as well things will be better, easier, and hopefully more enjoyable I’m left wondering how long before I really feel at home?

I love the new house, the extra space is wonderful. The snow and cold weather….I could live without. Regardless, this is home and being able to spend time with family has been a wonderful addition to our lives.

I’ve started playing scrabble at least once a week with my aunt. I have daily visits (usually) from my closest friend and am able to spend time with my mother just about any time I wish.

Even with all this visiting the house still feels empty and less lively than it should. The only way to remedy this situation is to have husband here with us and since that can’t happen just yet I believe it’s time for a beach trip. It has been almost a month since I’ve heard the waves beat against the shore or watched the sun disappear behind the sand and water. It’s been almost a month since husband has been able to hug on the kids or me for that matter.

Yep, time for a beach trip. Honestly, is there anything better? Maybe…just maybe the weather will be wonderful and my beach bum babies can run along the shoreline and collect shells to bring back with us since you know…now I’ll be one of those terrible dreaded tourists. We leave next week!

And just a few quotes I’ve been reading:

You have a lifetime to work, but children are only young once. ~Polish Proverb

If I had my child to raise all over again,

I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.

I'd finger-paint more, and point the finger less.

I would do less correcting and more connecting.

I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.

I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.

I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.

I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.

I'd do more hugging and less tugging.

~Diane Loomans, from "If I Had My Child To Raise Over Again"

Kids spell love T-I-M-E. ~John Crudele

If you want your children to improve, let them overhear the nice things you say about them to others. ~Haim Ginott

What a child doesn't receive he can seldom later give. ~P.D. James, Time to Be in Earnest

I cannot think of any need in childhood as strong as the need for a father's protection.~ Sigmund Freud

It is a wise father that knows his own child.
~William Shakespeare

clarity

There are times in this world in which we learn those that are suppose to love us, do not. There are days in which words cut so deeply that the wounds can never heal. Times in which we realize that blood is not always thicker than water and days in which the heart breaks into uncountable numbers.

It is upon these days that we learn the most about those that truly love us, those that do not, and about ourselves. It is these days that test our deepest strength and we often find that those items laying heavy on our heart are answered in a way to allow us to pass the burden on and move forward.

Sometimes the sharpest tongues and hurtful comments allow for a clarity once never allowed. While the pain may linger the spirit is free knowing that those most important love you regardless of faults and those that don't, well...never really cared enough to truly know you in the first place.

Acceptance is key but not so difficult once clarity is given.

a father's love

My girls have begun to really miss their father. They miss his presence as they prepare for bed, they miss his evening stories, his willingness to throw them and wrestle with them. They miss knowing he will be apart of each day.

Ireland has began to cry at night for her father and upon talking to him instantly informs him she needs and wants to see him.

While the sadness my children are now feeling breaks my heart I am also empowered by their relationship with their father. His love for them is apparent and their's for him is just as overwhelming.

I find this relationship mesmorizing. My girls will learn much about men and relationships from their father. He will be the one to mold what is expected from future boyfriends. He will be the one to give them unremarkable strength,self confidence, and self worth.

Often a girl's relationship with their mother becomes strained as they enter those dreaded teenage years and a father's love, support, understanding, and guiding hand becomes a remarkable force as it hopefully has always been.

I am grateful because I know that while my husband is a remarkable spouse his fathering is the stuff of dreams. He loves with his whole heart and gives it all to his children and wife. He leaves us knowing that while miles may seperate us at the moment, his love will remain a constant within our lives. He may be living hours away but each day he makes the effort to be involved in our lives and remind his children that he loves, cares, and thinks of them each and every day.

Thank you husband of mine, your family loves you so very much!

arrival

Well, I've made it to WV. Currently enjoying some mountain rain and cooler temps. It's very strange to not hear the ocean each day or drive past the church on my outings. It's an adjustment...one we are all working towards.

Husband left yesterday and my heart already misses him terribly. The hardest part about this move is knowing we aren't going to be together for several months.

I would love to write more and after my internet connection is up and running I will but for now just know we have made it and things are going well.


Also, my father-in-law is doing really well and hopefully will be out of the hospital within a couple days. Please keep him in your prayers as recovery continues.

I leave you with longings for my husband and fresh ocean air but enjoying seeing all the trees through my windows.