Saturday, February 23, 2008

what about terrible 4's?

The atmosphere in this household is...well...out of control. Each day the girls are in a fight before breakfast. Screaming, hair pulling, and even a few punches and shoves. It's crazy. I feel like a referee these days. Last evening they ended up on the floor rolling around wrestling because someone took a shoe off a doll.

Besides the incessant fighting we are having a major power struggle. I say no and the girls respond with a resounding yes while attempting to do as they wish. They have screaming fits when they do not get what they want, they have even kicked and smacked at me in the process.

I feel like I'm in a war zone and fighting for my very existence. The girls are going through a difficult time, this I know. Their father isn't around and they are definitely daddy's girls even if he or they try to deny it. They are living in a new home, and all that they have known for their short 4 years of life is different. So, I'm trying to have a little patience. My patience however...is wearing thin.

With each fight, with each screaming fit, with each tear for daddy my heart sinks a little more knowing that the only way to get through this is to stick to my guns. Continue to make them tow the line and behave in a manner that is appropriate. Which means sending them to time out each time they misbehave or taking something away from them each time they knowingly disobey, and yes even an occasional smack on the bottom when they really push the limits.

I don't like the look in their eyes when I must punish them. I don't like the fear they seem to possess. I know that fear only gets you so far and at some point if they fear me they won't seek me out when they need help for fear of my reaction.

I don't want to instill fear, I want to instill morals, manners, and the ability to listen. It just seems that for now punishment mixed with positive reinforcement is the best way to deal with the situation.

I also know that Easter this year...will be very low key as far as the bunny goes. Too much only seems to give my children a sense of false entitlement and the desire we are going for is gratitude and willingness to help others.

Parenting involves somewhat of a learning curve and hopefully Sean and I are quick studies because it's beginning to get deep around here.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hi, I just wanted to say that you are not alone! Parenting is much harder than I ever thought it would be. Your girls sound a lot like my oldest- things have only gotten harder with her since she turned 3. She's now 5 and wow! She's a toughie. :) I found your blog when I was looking for some solutions to the issues we've been having with pee accidents, and I really related to your post about that.