a little laughter can go a long way

Diary of the 15 minute shower

Before




After

Next time I think I'll skip the shower!

taking over the internet one blog at a time

There are a ton on blogs by moms out there! I don't know if you have noticed but there are hundreds, thousands....they are everywhere and apparently taking over.


I started reading them about a year ago and just finally got up the nerve to start publishing my own. I am still in awe of how many moms find the time to write each day...or even every couple of days.


Then this morning I was reading this blog and the question was asked, "what do you sacrifice and what are you unwilling to give up?" Suddenly, a light bulb went off in my mind.


Why are there so many blogging mothers out there? Well, through blogging they get to connect with the real world. A world that they are slowly taking over. Computer time is becoming more and more important over other small personal desires...even a daily shower.


Ask a blogging mother if they would rather take 4 showers a week and continue their computer time or give up the computer time for a daily shower....my bet is the thought of giving up that computer time is enough to drive them crazy.


During this special time a mom is allowed to connect to millions of other moms or even just other adults if she wishes. She is allowed to put her thoughts, fear, concerns, and advice out there and other people actually listen. They take notice, they respond.


This limited contact with the outside world leaves the mother with a sense of accomplishment. She produced something today besides diaper changes, or well fed children, or even a clean house (which let's be honest...the house is never always clean). This small amount of contact helps make the long journey a little easier.

With wonderful bloggers like her and her out there and cool places like this and this the mothering world doesn't seem so small...plus it helps drive the point that you aren't alone.

So, accolades to mom bloggers and their willingness to create even just a little time to share their minds with the rest of us.

to the other woman...from the one he'll leave behind

Today I found myself watching some reality show on MTV in which they follow these teenagers who are engaged and preparing to get married. With the few shows I watched, each couple spent a good amount of time fighting about each other's parents.

Within moments of watching I began to feel old....really old. Instead of identifying with these youngsters and their "young" problems I felt like the parent. The overbearing, uncool, and terribly misunderstood parents. These parents who were begging their children to wait, pleading with their children to understand that marriage is hard and wanting to know why the rush. These "parents" regardless of their terrible terrible attitudes and even worse tactics were in fact just trying to protect their children...protect them from the harsh reality that life is not a fairytale.

I was a young bride. I married just slightly a month after I turned 20. And...to just clear up any misconceptions...I wasn't pregnant, I was in love. I didn't marry out of a whim, I didn't marry out of misguided emotions. I married because I managed to find my best friend and companion in another. Granted, I suppose it didn't hurt that I had experienced enough of life to know a good thing when I saw it.

Upon marrying in January I found myself with child...well children...yes twins...by November. I had yet to finish college, was living 6.5 hours from the nearest family, and was pregnant with twins. To say life was moving fast didn't come close.

Now over 5 years later with a college degree, 3 children, and hopefully more security I know it isn't easy. I now look at the journey through the eyes of a parent and apparently that makes all the difference in the world.

Upon watching that show I suddenly saw in that moment my son marrying some girl that hated me and my beautiful, sweet, wonderful boy was taken away. I know I'm years and years away from having to worry about that but the thought alone is enough to bring tears to my eyes.

Girls upon marriage seem to do a better job at keeping in touch with their mother but with boys... that's a different story. Their mother is replaced by their wife. And rightly so, but completely heartbreaking.

If the mother has a difficult relationship with the wife she will have limited or no contact with her son...at least so it seems. For now, I'll hold my sweet baby boy in my arms and enjoy each moment with him knowing that when the time comes I can't pick his wife for him..and wouldn't want to. But I know that regardless of what I see in her it's his opinion that counts. I have to accept his choice and make my best effort to love her because she will be the new portal in which I will view my son. She will be the one in which I entrust my son.

Now, being wife, daughter-in-law, and parent all in one...I only hope that I have made my mother-in-law proud and that she sees me as an asset to her son rather than an obstacle. It also wouldn't hurt to say a few prayers for the future....could it?

No Welcome Back Party for You

Today I feel rather blah. Maybe it's because it's Monday, maybe it's because it's overcast outside, maybe it's because of some other reason I'm yet to think of.

I know... I bet it is this giant menstrual cycle giving me giant cramps, killer back ache and an attitude that is ready to bite some one's head off. Yep, I bet that's it.

Welcome back period...you weren't missed!

I thought one of the perks of breastfeeding was not having to deal with this less than desirable companion....guess I was wrong. Since it has been over a year since I've had to deal with this monster I was somewhat unprepared for it rearing it's ugly head. Suddenly I'm transported back to when i first received this "gift" and asked my mother for a hysterectomy so I wouldn't have to deal with it's pains. I feel that way now.

I've always had trouble with my periods. For at least 2 years before I actually started having one I had terrible cramps to the point of being balled up in the floor in pain so once this wonder started it's side effects where just as enjoyable.

Given my distaste for them it should come as no surprise I enjoyed being pregnant simply because this pest was history....a history that I'm unhappy to be dealing with again.

I'm not ready for another child but I'd love to be pregnant about now. Ah, the days of not having to deal with the dreaded monster...they are sadly missed.

Welcome back to my life you terrible horrible dreaded monster....now leave.

Bottomless Pit

My girls are eating machines. All day long I hear, "mommy I'm hungry" and "but mommy I'm so hungry" on endless rotation.

One would think with all this hunger that either my children are never fed or they weigh more than they should. Rest assured, neither is true. They are skinny children, rather tall, and well fed. So why this hunger all the time????

Maybe this will help....allow me to paint a picture if I may.

Ireland began rolling over both ways around 4 months. At this time she would roll until she hit something to which she would then cry until she could get away and roll until she hit something else. It was like a circus act. Erin followed just a couple months later.

Then Ireland began walking at 10 months followed very shortly by Erin. They didn't walk long....it seems my energetic children preferred to run. This running endures today. Walk...heck no that's for wimps.

Going to get a toy from another room...run. Going to the bathroom...run. Going grocery shopping with mom...run. Going to check the mail....run. Going to eat...run. Going to walk on the beach...run. Run, run, run, run, run.

When they aren't running around they still manage to find it impossible to sit still. Out to dinner...must run to bathroom 500 times. Watching movie....must do flips in the floor to entertain movie watchers.

It often seems like my life is stuck on fast forward. So with all this running around and inability to sit still I'm guessing the calorie burning these kids are doing is out of this world. However, I'm trying to do my kids a favor and not feed them each and every time they ask for food because there will come a day when that metabolism isn't on Speedy Gonzales mode.

Until then, snacks (both healthy and not) will attempt to fill the void until the next meal...with momma continuously pulling on the reins to keep them from eating each and every time those dreaded words are sounded...."momma I'm hungry".

Minivan Driving Momma

I'm a minivan driving momma. I do so by choice. Yes, that's right....I'm a 25 year old mother of 3 sporting a minivan. I know...you’re jealous. You must ooh and ahh as our green monster rolls by with screaming fighting toddlers inside. She (why I think my minivan is a girl is beyond me) is always dirty and this terrible shade of green. With dirty gray interior she is stuffed with broken crayons, wipes, extra diapers, nursing pillow, paper towels, 2 strollers, 3 car seats, and a heap of crumbs for good measure. One might question why I love her so. I suppose I relate to her. Often I go 2 days before I manage to find myself in the shower. You will find me dressed in what often seem to be pajamas with hair pulled up and not a stitch of make-up (god I hate that stuff!!!). Even though my appearance isn't always pleasing I'm reliable. Each morning I awake and care for 3 children. Each day they are feed, clothed, and cared for...no sick days here. My minivan may not be the most pleasing thing to look at, but she gets me where I need to go (and even places I would rather not go) without a complaint. She patiently waits for her oil changes, never complains when I wait an extra month or two before replacing those much needed tires, or that I don't always keep up on regular maintenance and deals with the fact her interior is filled with toddler and baby mess. She lives with her seats being removed rather frequently because of needing to carry items for husband's work or large toys. Plus, she lives in this freaking heat each and every day with temps near 100 degrees and not a single complaint. Now that I think about it, I wish I was more like my minivan. She's very much like a mommy and she not only never complains but she seems to enjoy it...all of it. Time for a new resolution! Take better care of my beloved van...because she deserves it and just maybe, so do I. What do you think of your car??? For a chance to win some cool stuff post your own blog about your car and send it ">here. Also check out PBN and AskPatty for more info about prizes and requirements.

Warning! Extreme heat ahead...may cause heat stroke

Currently our air conditioning isn't working...so joy ensues rest assured. The girls are running around in little as possible because it is almost 90 degrees in the house. Michael is down to his diaper and I have every fan running on high...and still no relief.

When calling the company to inform them of our problem I made sure to point out I had an infant and two other small children in the house in hopes it would expedite the situation but no such luck. Now over 3 hours later I'm still waiting and we are all sweating.

Don't worry, I'm sure this company is out there speeding through services and working as quickly as possible to get here. I bet they were pulled over by the cops just trying to get here as fast as possible...yeah that's it. I'm sure the office is in a tizzy, paper's flying every where, people running, and phones ringing incessantly just trying to figure out a way to get here quicker. I just know it!

But...just in case that isn't what's happening would you mind if I send the children to your house while I wait? Heat seems to bring the monkey out of small children.

Maybe I should pray for rain.

"Excuse me, do you have a license to feed that baby?"

Last night I had a friend come for the night. She also has a wee baby who is about 2 months older than Michael so we of course had lots of baby things to talk about but since we have known each other for about 5 years we had all kinds of other things to chat about which I must say was a blessing.

I had been anticipating her visit and attempted to prep the girls on another little baby being in the house but in retrospect maybe I should have prepped my friend more on my girls being in the house. Husband was off attending a concert (that didn't end up happening) so it was just friend with baby, the girls, wee one, and myself.

Upon entering the house the girls become overjoyed by another baby and are quickly bouncing around singing and asking large amounts of questions. Some of these questions are beginning to make me and others embarrassed.

Within 10 minutes of my friend arriving my children had informed her that, "Michael eats mommy's breasts" and that "Michael lived in mommy's tummy". Granted the second one isn't that bad but the first is about to drive me crazy.

Yes, it is true..Michael does eat (from) the breast but does every stinking person my children meet need to be informed of this?

Grocery shopping Erin spots another mother with baby and suddenly is asking if her baby eats from her breasts followed by the wonderful, "Michael eats mommy's breasts". I force a smile and attempt to hide my embarrassment.

I suppose it shouldn't bother me, I'm happy that I've been able to breastfeed this go around but it's also something that I feel doesn't need to be shouted from the rooftops.

What's worse than my embarrassment is that my children want to know why other babies aren't eating from the breasts. Suddenly the Spanish Inquisition arrives and two 4 year olds are asking you to divulge why you, a complete stranger isn't shoving your breast in your baby's mouth.

Maybe my children are fascinated by wee one eating only mommy's breasts or.....maybe my children are just huge breastfeeding supporters and will be attending the next rally near you. Either way, if you have a baby with you I suggest you duck and cover if you see us coming otherwise the breastfeeding police will be all over you.

Magic Wand Required

Ireland to dad, "I want to get married."

Dad to Ireland, "Who do you want to marry?"

Ireland to dad, "Erin"

Erin to all, "but I'm not a boy!"

Ireland to all, "well then I'll be the boy."

Dad to Ireland, "but you're a girl."

Ireland to dad, "I'll just get fairy godmother's wand and turn myself into a boy."

Erin to Ireland, "Well then I want to be turned into a princess."

Ireland to Erin, "Okay, I'll be the prince."


Apparently twindom knows no bounds...how amazing to love your sister so much that you want to spend your whole life with them because as Ireland said, "but I love Erin with all my heart"

Insanity Looms

The last week I've been a ball of ever changing emotions. I've gone from being completely happy that I'm a stay-at-home mother to wishing I could get out of this house. It's amusing how quickly our attitudes can change with one event. I've been rather content with my life within the home...up until recently. Everything seemed to be going smoothly. The girls were behaving as best they could and Michael was my constant joy.

I suppose it should be no surprise that it didn't stay that way. This past week Michael became ill with temps as high as 103.7. This turned him into a screaming unhappy child, which seemed to make the girls stir crazy and I into a sleep deprived zombie. By the end of the week the girls and I were angry with each other, they attempted to "run away" that is if you count hiding in the neighbors yard and locking themselves in their room to avoid me. I was short tempered and honestly should have given them more slack.

It all came to a head on Friday when the girls basically had a sit in and refused to clean up their room so being the stubborn mother I am I grabbed a trash bag and took their toys. They really didn't seem to care at this point Ireland actually helped to put the toys in the bag which made me realize my children have way too much and don't truly appreciate what they have. Thus, they haven't gotten any of those toys back....and I don't think they will.

With all of this taking place my husband felt it would be a good time for a beach break so we spent the weekend at the beach house. It was a mini vacation and it was nice....much needed. The girls enjoyed their time in the water and I was able to even play with them some with Sean on baby duty. However, at the end of our stay I found myself loathing the start of another week. I dreaded another week of me wanting to crawl under the bed and hide from my girls, having to fuss and even yell when they disappear outdoors and manage to turn the water on while they run around naked. I wanted to hide from having to clean up the house every 5 minutes because children are anything but clean. I wanted to hide from the fact I'm alone.

My husband works during the day and is usually gone before any of us awake and arrives home right around dinner time. My friends have become increasingly busy with their children and lives and my family lives 6.5 hours away. There are no breaks and no money for babysitters since tuition continues to rise for Sean's program. I dread another week of feeling disconnected to the outside world and I bet there are a lot of stay-at-home mothers who feel this way.

When all the friends have jobs you become odd one out granted in some way I suppose I've always been odd one out. My friends are usually older than I am with children who are older thus their struggles are different and their time away from home is usually easier to come by. It just seems to be a difficult time for me right now.

I interviewed for a job several weeks ago. I was excited about the possibility of finding something that was what I wanted....a chance to actually use my talents and degree while still being a mom. It seems that my possibility will remain just a possibility and not an actualality. Non-profit doesn't pay well and by the time I pay for child care for 3 kids plus gas to get there and back I will loose money....loose enough that I can't accept the job.

I feel like the outside world is rejecting me...telling me I'm a stay-at-mother and that is all I will be. Don't think I don't enjoy being a mother, it is the greatest gift. The only thing is I don't want to loose myself in the process. I don't want my brain to turn to mush that can only discuss baby poop and wild twin antics. I want more...but then again that's the problem isn't it? Always wanting more and never being happy with what you have...where you are now. So I began to think.....what would it take for me to be happy now? And the answer was rather frightening to me.

One of two things needed to start happening.... I would either get weekly evenings out with friends (and/or husband) away from the home and children or we would need to move back to WV so that at least I could have some help...some guidance....some understanding....people to visit and spend time with away from our home..people who would stop by for a visit...people who cared enough to help me get out of the house so I wouldn't become a mommy hermit.

I suppose it's unfair to seemingly put the responsiblity to save me from myself on others but the truth is....... I NEED HELP!!!! I can't do this mommy thing on my own anymore. It's making me cranky, bitter, and unhappy. I need some interaction with the outside world! And I bet there are tons of other stay-at-home mothers who need that as well. They need a returned phone call, a visit, some understanding. They need to be reminded that they aren't alone, they do have friends and family who care enough to listen; they need a reminder that they can leave the house and they deserve some much needed time away from the kids.

So today call, visit, or just let a stay-at-home mother know you care.