Today I found myself watching some reality show on MTV in which they follow these teenagers who are engaged and preparing to get married. With the few shows I watched, each couple spent a good amount of time fighting about each other's parents.
Within moments of watching I began to feel old....really old. Instead of identifying with these youngsters and their "young" problems I felt like the parent. The overbearing, uncool, and terribly misunderstood parents. These parents who were begging their children to wait, pleading with their children to understand that marriage is hard and wanting to know why the rush. These "parents" regardless of their terrible terrible attitudes and even worse tactics were in fact just trying to protect their children...protect them from the harsh reality that life is not a fairytale.
I was a young bride. I married just slightly a month after I turned 20. And...to just clear up any misconceptions...I wasn't pregnant, I was in love. I didn't marry out of a whim, I didn't marry out of misguided emotions. I married because I managed to find my best friend and companion in another. Granted, I suppose it didn't hurt that I had experienced enough of life to know a good thing when I saw it.
Upon marrying in January I found myself with child...well children...yes twins...by November. I had yet to finish college, was living 6.5 hours from the nearest family, and was pregnant with twins. To say life was moving fast didn't come close.
Now over 5 years later with a college degree, 3 children, and hopefully more security I know it isn't easy. I now look at the journey through the eyes of a parent and apparently that makes all the difference in the world.
Upon watching that show I suddenly saw in that moment my son marrying some girl that hated me and my beautiful, sweet, wonderful boy was taken away. I know I'm years and years away from having to worry about that but the thought alone is enough to bring tears to my eyes.
Girls upon marriage seem to do a better job at keeping in touch with their mother but with boys... that's a different story. Their mother is replaced by their wife. And rightly so, but completely heartbreaking.
If the mother has a difficult relationship with the wife she will have limited or no contact with her son...at least so it seems. For now, I'll hold my sweet baby boy in my arms and enjoy each moment with him knowing that when the time comes I can't pick his wife for him..and wouldn't want to. But I know that regardless of what I see in her it's his opinion that counts. I have to accept his choice and make my best effort to love her because she will be the new portal in which I will view my son. She will be the one in which I entrust my son.
Now, being wife, daughter-in-law, and parent all in one...I only hope that I have made my mother-in-law proud and that she sees me as an asset to her son rather than an obstacle. It also wouldn't hurt to say a few prayers for the future....could it?
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