out of the dark and into the sunshine...bet you didn't think I could do it!

It would seem that my mommy life is sometimes confusing for readers. They take one look and determine that either I am extremely unhappy or that I enjoy a good complain fest. Let me reassure you that I am neither unhappy or a constant complainer.

My blog is primarily dedicated to the dirty side of being a mother. More often than not all I find are smoke and mirrors that are determined to show parenting as only this most wonderful experience. And, while I agree that there is nothing better than being a mom, I also know that there are days when you would rather get in the car and drive away than to deal with your child(ren). Possibly this is just me but I don't think so.

I just think that voicing that thought seems scary and wrong so many of us attempt to pretend it doesn't exist. I don't think it is wrong. I don't believe there is anything wrong with speaking up and saying this whole being a mother thing can be really crazy, and sometimes down right difficult.

However, just in case you don't believe I can deal with the sunshine...try this on for size.

Lately I look into my children's eyes and more often than not I'm brought to tears because I love them so much. They are growing by leaps and bounds each day. Ireland is starting addition today and Erin is now writing and recognizing written words. Michael still can't roll over from his back to his stomach but with each smile I could honestly care less if he ever rolls over.

Each day my children find a way to steal my heart. I want to cry when they are upset and I want to rejoice when they are happy and excited. I live my life right along side my children and I love every minute of it. I love those terrible want to run away days, because it makes those wonderful moments and days so much better. I have the great opportunity to know how far we have come. What's also amazing is that we haven't made the journey alone. We have some astounding friends and family who encouraged and helped along the way and I know they will continue to do so....because that's just the superb type of people they are.

If it wasn't for the incredible group of women I meet through our church's MOMS group I'd be a shut-in with a lot less sanity. These women helped me get out of that stinkin' cry room and live among the land of the living in church....they helped me see that it's okay to want more out of life, and that most importantly I have to take care of myself in order to care for my children.

If I didn't have my fabulous mother who graciously gives me at least a one week break during the summer I'd probably be hiding under the bed. She manages to make time around her busy life to take her grandkids and show them a wonderful time. She visits at least once a month and whisks me off to buy clothes when needed or just to treat me to a dinner out. She does all this knowing that when she arrives back home after a visit she will be exhausted from the trip and heading right back out the door for work the next morning.

My in-laws have also been a saving grace. They offer to keep the girls so my husband and I can venture out for dinner or to get a home project completed. They (I should say my mother-in-law since she does most of the work) find special activities to do with the girls and are willing to be Sean and I's sounding board when needed.

You see this whole parenting thing is a journey, one that never ends. Once you master one aspect another is already knocking at the door needing your attention. It's the greatest journey you will ever have the pleasure of experiencing.

Join me, ride this incredible roller coaster along side me. Enjoy every moment knowing that each day won't be a joy. Each day will have its own obstacles to overcome, but when you get over them you can smile because in that moment you know you are succeeding...your making it.
Join me in the dirt please...cause living motherhood in the trenches isn't so bad. It's rather fun...even when the children pull down sets of curtains right off the wall leaving gaping holes, or they think that decorating the kitchen with flour makes it pretty, or that running off and hiding is funny while they watch you in a panic searching for them.

It's dirty and I'm not afraid to say so. This doesn't mean I don't appreciate and remember all the wonderful help I've had along the way or that I don't like being a mother...it just means that maybe another mother will read and take away that it's okay to admit it's difficult and will gain some courage and self-respect. Maybe she will see that sometimes what we consider failing carries the greatest reward. Maybe, when she reads she won't feel alone, and she'll know that there are many others out there struggling right along side her, doing our best some days to just keep our head above the water.

imperfection may just be good for you

After reading my blog list this morning I've come to realize that as mothers we take way too much crap from other people. Somehow we let people who know very little about our lives influence our decisions.

For example, take the ever popular IzzyMom battling the leash. I instantly understood her frustrations because I actually caved in after family and friends spoke out against the purchase of one. Looking back, it might have made life with twins easier and maybe I should have stood up and did what I wanted.

Why as mothers do we fall victim to every one's opinions? Why do passing strangers feel the need to comment on what they feel we are doing wrong?

Not so long ago going to church with the girls was miserable. They didn't want to sit still, they wanted to run around and explore. We would bring toys and coloring books but even with these items our children would occasionally speak out loud during mass as the most inopportune times. We would be told by complete strangers that our children belonged in the cry room (which if you don't' know is this terrible room in which you are allowed to watch the church service through windows...cut off from civilization). These other members of the parish would speak their "concern" aloud to us in rather unfriendly ways.

I don't know how many evil looks I would receive during mass and often would leave feeling defeated and unwelcome which isn't the way anyone should leave a church service.

Going grocery shopping I would be seen chasing a child or scolding a child....on really bad days someone would hear me threaten to spank my child if they didn't behave. This of course received many unwelcomed looks.

It was a no win situation. If my children ran around acting like....children, I would be scolded by these other people to please control my children. If I attempted to control them, I received scoldings about how it wasn't appropriate for me to do so.

So what the hell did these people want from me? They wanted my children to be poster children. Those cute little kids who sit and are always behaved. I'm sorry but my children are all child. They love to explore, they love to run, they love to enjoy life. I correct them when they do something that is uncalled for or inappropriate, but I want my children to enjoy their childhood.

So, I'm empowering myself....if you don't like the fact that my children may get overly excited by getting to visit the toy aisle or that they cry when their feelings are hurt or that they think that church lasts too long sometimes, or that they get impatient when having to wait 35 minutes for their food then by all means walk on by....give me your dirty look....share your thoughts. BUT....don't expect me to change my children to soot you. So you don't agree with how I am raising my children...GOOD....they aren't your children.

I am not a perfect mother. I don't have perfect children...and guess what neither do you. I know your are recovering from shock right now but it's high time we embrace our flaws....our imperfectness. No longer should we attempt to carry that "perfect mommy image" because in the end all it does is break us down and leave us feeling like regardless we have failed.

When you visit my house chances are it will be dirty. There will be toys on the floor along with a few crumbs. The dishes may not always be done and the beds may not be made. My car may be filled with toys, diapers (hey at least they are clean), a nursing pillow, and crumbs. I may be scatter brained more often than not and be incapable of carrying on an adult conversation but I guarantee my children will look back and know they enjoyed their childhood.

They won't remember the dishes being clean or dirty. They won't remember if some goofy stranger didn't approve of how they acted, but they will remember the relationship they had with their momma and if they had fun or not.

So take off your perfection hat and embrace a little craziness...it just might make your children's day....and maybe even yours.

cutting the fat

We are attempting to cut out the fat. No we aren't having plastic surgery although my mid-section could use a little tuck. Oh okay, it could use a big tuck. Don't judge, you try having twins with no personal trainer to help out after the kidlens arrive.

Anyway, we are attempting to cut back on expenses. If this move does end up happening we would like to be in a better place financially. If the move doesn't happen, we would like to be in a better place financially.

So we have started today. Husband called this morning and cut back the cable. I'm sure this was bittersweet for him considering ESPN will now be missed and I know this wasn't much fun for me since TV has been my main source of entertainment once children are in bed. Regardless, sometimes you have to do without for things you desire.

Along with cutting back on cable I am making an effort to cut back on the air conditioning I use each day. Usually I end up cooling the house an additional 2 or 3 degrees during the day but am trying to keep the temp set and see the big picture. I won't be sweating, stinking up the house but I will be padding my pockets once that electricity bill comes.

We have installed energy saving light bulbs. The bulbs have been in for at least a year. We read somewhere that if every home would replace something life 5 bulbs with these energy saving bulbs they could shut down at least one power plant. Don't' know if it's true but I do know our electricity bill dropped after installing them.

We are setting a strict budget for outings and groceries. Basically, it's making sure the right hand knows what the left hand is doing type of stuff.

Normally, Sean simply trusts me to make sure the bills are paid and that as far as expenses go that I will take care of it. I don't mind this but in order for us to take responsibility for a future goals we both need to know what the other is doing so we keep from spending $18.85 for dinner at McD's simply because we didn't feel like cooking.

With 2 toddlers (at what point do toddlers become children?), a baby, and two adults, food costs can quickly get out of control. Each child wants a different snack and desires different items for dinner or lunch, the parents want different snacks and easily fall victim to cravings leading to unnecessary food purchases.

So we are attacking this whole food thing from the aspect of planning. We are going to start planning the weekly meals and only purchasing items needed for those meals and snacks. Set a budget for those items each week and stick to it. If you go over...something must go back.

Sure, this may not be the most fun thing we could do but I guarantee when time rolls around and we have some extra money to help with the purchase of a new home, car, or medical expenses we will be glad we agreed to do this.

Now, that I've said all this...does anyone know how to cook? I think I might need some lessons. I suppose Foodnetwork.com will become my new best friend so I can have some help planning those meals.

How do you budget? What are your techniques for saving money? Any advice to share??? I'm all ears.

it's only tuesday...oh great

So far this week is a trying one. My husband possibly broke one of his toes so he is hobbling around. We found out it could be as late as April before we know anything about a possible move (isn't it so nice of them to leave us ample time to sell our current house and purchase a new one so we will have a freakin place to live if we do make the move) and my husband's store was robbed. ...and it's only Tuesday. Granted, I suppose this all means my husband is technically the one having a crummy week and I'm just riding his shirt tale.

The toe will heal so no major worries there, the move...I think I'd rather not talk about it now since I'm both saddened and angry that my life will have no resolution for months, but the robbery I feel like my husband isn't safe regardless of where he works.

A couple months before the girls were born my husband was attacked my masked gunmen who robbed the pharmacy he worked at in Durham, NC. With the way the pharmacy handled the situation we knew we had to get out of Durham and we did. But now, he's getting robbed in a small, mainly retirement community and I feel like nowhere is safe.

I understand that this is a complete blow up on my part since this time a gun wasn't involved and no one was hurt. However, the fact remains that given my husband's chosen field it doesn't seem to matter where we live this could/will happen.

I just fear that one day he or his employees won't be so lucky and someone will be seriously hurt. I also hope that this is the most excitement we see this week. Until the end of the week I'm contemplating just climbing under the covers and staying there. Maybe I'll just stay in the house the remainder of the time I live here.

The children in the neighborhood can ride their bikes past my house saying, "that's where that crazy lady lives who won't leave her house." They can all dare each other to come and ring the doorbell to see what I do.

how a cotton ball saved my life

So after a few ideas about my on going potty wars we have attacked the dilemma from a new angle.....cotton balls.

No, no we aren't making her eat them, or making her stuff her underwear...we are using them as a kind of reward system.

The girls and I took a trip to pick up some plastic containers and cotton balls. I wrote their name on a piece of paper and then allowed them to decorate the remaining paper. We put the paper on the container and thus their reward jar was created.

For each time miss Erin goes to the potty she receives one cotton ball. We are also using this system to promote kindness and cleanliness. With each good deed and willingness to pick up their messes they get a reward of one cotton ball. Bad behavior results in the removal of a cotton ball.

When either child reaches 10 cotton balls they get to pick out a special treat. Erin after two days (and not a single accident I might add) has collected enough cotton balls to get her first prize. She picked out a bag of candy necklaces...which she gladly shared with her sister.

Maybe I'll win this whole potty war....and maybe, just maybe my children will learn numerous lessons along the way. Our plan is to continue to raise the bar on the whole potty business so she has to eventually make it a week with no accidents before she gets a reward while working in some big prizes for saving up the cotton such as a trip to the movies or dinner out alone with parent of their choice.

Cotton jars for now seem to be doing the trick. I'm sure we will have days when things aren't always so sunny but for now I'll gladly take a break.

through the eyes of a child

When wanting to play outside on her own, Ireland began creating what she called her special projects.

I believe this one is reminiscent of the Pillsbury Dough Boy but she calls it, "No Kiss" .

Don't ask....I have no idea.

But I love that she not only used her chalk but she sought out other mediums. She included one of her Easter eggs, bark, fake fall leaves, and green leaves from one of the plants in our yard.

She may drive me crazy with her ability to climb walls and terrorize a room in under minutes, but my little artist sees the world in a way I could only hope to.

potty wars continue, i'm raising my white flag at midnight

I'm at my wits end. I've had it....and I don't know what else to do. My oldest (she is older by 2 minutes!) refuses to pee in the potty all the time. She knows it's wrong to pee her pants and yet she does it at least 3 times a day. It isn't like she doesn't know how, she was potty trained at 2 and somehow we have backtracked to the point she refuses to pee in the potty while she is at home and sometimes when she is at other people's homes.

It isn't like I haven't tried a variety of solutions. I've tried setting a timer and telling her to go potty about every 15 minutes. I've tried talking to her. I've tired the whole being supportive and praising her when she does go by herself while not getting upset when she does pee in her pants. I've tired spanking, I've tried time out, I've tried everything I can think of and I'm out of ideas. I need help. I honestly don't know what else to do.

With everything I try she still pees all over herself. I find her sitting in a corner holding her pants so she doesn't have to go to the potty. She would rather pee all over herself than take the 10 steps to the potty. I keep hoping that maybe she will just outgrow it but that just doesn't seem to be happening.

She is due to start school next year and honestly I can't even think of sending her if she continues this, I'll have to hold her back. I tried pre-school last year and she still managed to pee herself at least once a week and she was only at the school for 3 hours.

The doctor just says she is just learning but at this rate the learning curve is so long she might be 10 before she grasps the concept. I don't know what is wrong, it's either her or I and every time she pees in her pants rather than in the potty I would just rather drive off a cliff or jump off a 15 story building than deal with it because now every time it happens I just see red. She instantly knows its wrong, and yet she would rather cover it up and stay in her wet pants.

What amazes me is that this is the same child who awakes during the night to go pee in the potty. So it isn't like she doesn't know how or that her bladder is so small she can't hold it...she can awake from sleep, walk to the potty, and pee.

I'm loosing the potty wars and honestly I'm beginning to feel like I don't have the strength to even continue to try and fight. I'm so close to just putting her in pull-ups and being done with it. I'm tired of washing underwear every day just so she can run through them again the next day. I'm tired of not understanding...I'm just tired.

Anyone have twins who took a really long time to potty train? Anyone have secrets to share? Anyone out there that can offer even a small glimmer of hope?? Come on I'm dying here....I need a life line.

warning: breastfeeding obscene, use caution ahead

What is your first reaction when you see a breastfeeding mother? Just curious...

I'm one of those breastfeeding mothers, although I doubt that you will see me doing it since I'm way too uncomfortable whipping it out everywhere. These large friends are to blame. Even with that being said I don't mind seeing mothers feeding their babies. I don't somehow feel I've just witnessed something obscene.

Myspace and Facebook however have taken the stand that pictures of breastfeeding mothers are just that...obscene. When reading about it here and here I realized that it wasn't some silly joke. I thought I must be dreaming because these are the same sites that allow their users to put up incredibly provocative photos such as this which I found on Myspace within a minute.

Regardless of what they allow their users to add to their page it seems the argument against removing a picture of a breastfeeding mother seems at least one sided. If you are going to remove her photo please do us all a favor and remove all those photos that show any kind of nudity. Yes, remove all baby photos in which the child appears to even be slightly nude, remove all photos of women half dressed, leaving nothing to the imagination, remove all those groups promoting anorexia as a weight solution....remove them all. Otherwise you are just a giant stinking hypocrite.

Call me crazy but I just don't understand why someone is afraid of a mother feeding her child. Even my children are on board, breastfeed those babies!

taking the day

Today I'm taking the day off...Sean and I are attending a Dave Matthews Band concert so I'm going to do my best to keep from thinking about the possibility of moving and all that goes with it. This evening, I'm going to enjoy my husband's company, good music, and do my best to know my children are in safe hands...even if they aren't my own.

a world of possibility

For several months Sean and I have heard from various people that Walgreens was coming to WV...and that we should move home. Honestly, we laughed and joked that it would never happen. I mean why would it...we live at the beach. We live where so many wish they did. However, months after all the talk from others Sean and I find ourselves looking at each other thinking it's a possibility.

We have played the pro/con game and talked with some family about the idea of course to mixed reviews but the fact still remains, it's a possibility. One that can't be ignored. We could move back home, live near family, have the girls start kindergarten in our home town in a school we know and love, deal with the cold. Oh wait, snow. That doesn't sound so desirable, or does it?

I'm excited and terrified of the possibility. It would mean change, selling our house, moving, finding a new house, and saying good-bye to the ocean. So much to do...but still a possibility.

Good lord, I feel like I have possibility oozing out of my ears.

fun house mirrors of exercise

I should be exercising....yeah probably right now, instead of writing this wonderful post. It sure would do more wonders for my mid-section than typing seems to do. I'm just not extremely motivated these days.

Sure, occasionally I find myself out running around playing with the girls. We might even take a bike ride together or play soccer. But...in the end I'm not pushing myself... by myself. I have huge goals. Whoa, let me tell you. I wanted to do a half marathon this coming year...and my inability to push myself seems like that will get pushed back another year. I'd love to to do a triathlon....that will have to wait as well.

Part of the problem is that carrying only one child this time around was much easier so I'm not as motivated. I didn't gain as much weight as when I had the twins. I know your astonished. Even with that astonishment I know this extra weight isn't just going to disappear one morning. Although wouldn't that be great. Awake, look in the mirror and suddenly your a size 6...wow, how exciting.

Another problem is my breasts....yes, here we go again. I have large breasts. I've said it before and I'll probably be saying it my entire life. With these large partners around it makes running almost impossible, for fear of putting an eye out or worse breaking my back in two.

Sports bras either are so tight they hurt or so loose they are pointless. So running while I'm breastfeeding doesn't seem to be the best option.

I've found I enjoy bike riding, especially with the girls. The only problem there is that before we even hit 1/2 mile Erin is whining about wanting to go home. So they aren't up for 3 to 7 mile rides. However, maybe there is a way to make this bike ridding happen.

Early morning person I am not, and riding while my breasts are so full (since wee one is sleeping through nights) I might topple over... doesn't seem the brightest idea so maybe late evening rides are the answer. I could feed everyone dinner, put husband and children to play and head out. Get my ride in before wee one takes his last feeding and before the girls go to bed.

I may not ride each day and lord knows that my rear will be sore for days from those freakin' bike seats. By the way, who invented those stupid terribly uncomfortable seats???? Whoever it was deserves a smack because those things are awful.

Anyways, I may not be able to do all that I wish because exercising around 3 children (one an infant) and a husband who's trying to get his MBA doesn't allow for much spare time but I think I can make this work. Throw on my i-pod, prepare for the bum aches and hit the road. If nothing else I might just begin to feel better and sometimes that's way more important than loosing a few pounds.


How do you get your exercise on with kids? Share your story and you might just win a pair of really cool shoes by Ryka. Details here. Who knows maybe you will inspire another mom to get out there and get moving...or maybe you will inspire yourself, plus free shoes are always great.

bring on the oatmeal

Wee one hates rice. I thought that stuff didn't really have a taste but wow, he hates it. I pushed and pushed it on him trying every single way I could to shove it down his throat. I knew that if he would just eat some he wouldn't spit up as much (which isn't all that much anyway but way more than the girls). I tried putting in other food, I tried pumping and just adding it to the breast milk in a bottle, I tried just adding a little breast milk and feeding him from a spoon...finally I have given up. NO MORE RICE!

Ok wee one.....I get it!

So today we switched to oatmeal and he loved it. Ate all that I had made for him. Hopefully he won't end up with a tummy ache but so far so good. Not only does he love oatmeal it seems but he is really liking sweet potatoes.

So we are entering the world of food and I'm not sure if I'm happy or sad about this. Breastfeeding has/is going really well so I'm worried he will try and quit with the desire for tastier things. But more than that....my baby is growing up and I really don't like that right now. I'm enjoying him so much, I enjoy every moment....even when I don't appear to enjoy getting up for the occasional 12:30 scream (well more like a sad moan).

It's kind of bittersweet but so are most things with children.

my greatest gift

Some days all the loneliness in the world just doesn't compare to the wonderful times with my kids.

I was able to spend 2 hours with my girls at the beach yesterday and I have to say it was the most fun I've had with them in awhile. They are so full of spirit and love it amazes me. With each smile they throw my way my heart melts, with each laugh my heart smiles, and with each unexpected sentence I find myself remembering I have the greatest job in the world and my kids are God's greatest gift.

friend desired

Lonely married mother of 3 seeks female friend

for movie night, ladies night out, occasional

dinner, or trips to the park. Needs someone who

likes children, understanding if plans must change

at a moments notice, and accept that wee one

may come along for outings. Weekly chats a must,

phone calls desirable,but not required. Other

mothers welcome. Only serious applicants need apply.

Potty 101

Erin, "I need to go potty."

Mom, "well by all means, get in there."

Gramma follows Erin in to the bathroom. Noticing that there is no paper in toilet asks, "Did you go potty?"

Erin climbs back onto potty finishes her business then climbs back down.

Gramma, "You need to wipe."

Erin, "my pants will dry it"

Gramma, " but then your pants will be wet"

Erin, "that's okay, the sun will dry them"

I think it's time to call in the potty training professionals...know any?

overload

Often times I believe I live completely in my head. With all the strange thoughts, crazy dreams, and overly analytical thinking I do it's a wonder I get anything else done. Truly, I believe I'm strange!

Each night of sleep I find myself in one of a series of reoccurring dreams all of which I'm sure Freud would have a field day with. During the day I will be working with the girls on their alphabet or numbers and I become distracted by strange thoughts. For example, today while working on the letter N, I found myself wondering if it really is possible for us to live in Ireland. I began to devise a plan that would allow us this opportunity.

Since then I have also thought about how I despise the phrase, "you can't have your cake and eat it too" because let's be honest...who wants to have cake and not be able to eat it. It's a very silly phrase, one I believe we should all stop using. Unless, the next time you find yourself with cake you simply choose not to eat it, and rather just stare at it. If you are able to do that then by all means please continue use of the phrase.

Also, I find myself spending way too much time envisioning what my relationship with my children will be like when they are teenagers or adults. Daydreams if you will....will they each call me frequently, will they seek my advice when faced with a difficult decision, will they go off to college, will they be party animals, will they stop talking to me, will they shut me out of their lives, will they always know how much I love them? It's non-stop.

How do you shut off your brain? Is it possible to actually sit and think of nothing? Meditation...is that what thinking of nothing is like? Although aren't you suppose to picture calmness or something like that? Maybe it truly isn't possible for me to think of nothing, granted if I was thinking of nothing than I would still be thinking so still no break. There has to be an off switch on this sucker!

Anyone have directions you could lend me?

price isn't everything

In the world of "Customer No Service" Walmart in my opinion takes the cake. When visiting this fine establishment I know that I can find pretty much whatever I need. Groceries, check. Baby stuff, check. Shoes, check. Shampoo, check. Scrapbooking stuff, check. Need an oil change, check. Check, check, check. They seem to have it all...seem being the word.

The one thing they seem to be lacking is customer service. You may find the occasional happy employee who greets you with a smile or a cashier who carries on a converstaion while checking you out, but you need help finding something...you're lucky if they will even point you in the right direction. Need help to your car....forget about it!

I admit I still shop there mainly because it's a one stop shop, I can get the oil changed in the van, pick up some clothes for the kids, some books to read, and a few groceries all while I wait. The family and I can spend hours in there just roaming the aisles looking for things we need and many that we don't. Even with this entertainment factor I find I don't really enjoy going there. I don't enjoy dealing with the crowds and I don't enjoy having to walk miles just to pick up some groceries. So often I find myself heading to the local Food Lion.

Why you ask, when I could be saving money by going to Walmart. The answer is simple. I can get what I want and get great customer service. Not every visit is wonderful but more often than not I find myself pleased that I chose to go there instead of the dreaded Wally World.

Take today for example. Wee one had a doctor's appointment so I decided to pop in for few groceries afterwards. I was in and out within 35 minutes. I was greeted by 3 employees while there and once I checked out I was helped out to the car with the buggy since I had the stroller.

Sometimes paying a little more isn't so bad. How many places can you go where they are willing to bring your purchases to the car for you....and even unload them for you. Maybe I find this so wonderful because shopping with 3 kids is difficult. It's a fight to get in and out without wanting to strangle someone. I feel like the traveling circus. I arrive with Wee one in the carrier and a child holding each hand. I spend my time fussing at the girls to stop grabbing items off the shelf. I plead with them to please stop rolling around on the floor. I spend time begging them to please stop yelling, and eventually scold them for not listening and fighting.

When it comes to checking out I look like I'm stocking up for the next world war. Since shopping with children isn't my favorite past time I buy in bulk, and buy in hopes to last several weeks. When it comes time to leave the girls are eyeing the candy, begging for everything under the sun, and I'm left with 3 kids, and an overloaded buggy.

How would you get to the car? Let's see, wee one in the carrier, girls holding my hands...now how exactly do I get this overloaded cart to the van???? I shop at Food Lion and they push it out for me...and will even load the car with my purchases while I load the children.

Yep, doesn't get any better than that.

Friendly Foe

It seems that mothers who breastfeed are not always invited to the party. I recently was informed that I have not made the cut for outings with friends.

"Yes, but you have the baby and that's our time away from the kids."

Response I wanted to give, "Thank you ever so much for the returned phone calls, visits, and invites for evenings out....oh wait that wasn't you."

So not only is my son not invited, neither am I. I completely understand their position of wanting time away from their children but to suddenly ostracize a member of the "group" simply because she had a baby seems...well...unfriendly at best.

Ever had friends treat you differently after having children? How did you deal with it?