life as a third wheel

It seems that life works well in pairs. Your feet, thus shoes, your pants, hands, thus gloves, even tires come in two pairs. People often come in pairs as well...at least we seem to strive to come in pairs. If your a wife you have a counter spouse, if your a mom you have a counter parent...at least you try to.

When I think back, even in school things happened in pairs. Friendships worked in pairs. There might be a larger group that would "hang out" but within the group were several pairs. With the pairing of our world (at least the small part I've lived) comes the complex of the third wheel.

This complex is something I'm rather familiar with and have spent a good portion of my life as the third wheel. I feel the desire to however point out that I have found my "pairing" and am most pleased with my spouse. HOWEVER, long before I was a wife I spent my time as a third wheel.

The few friends I had, always had their preferred pairing. I usually was the "other" friend. Not the best and not the worse but somewhere in the middle. I never had a "best" friend.

This being said my view may be slightly skewed.

Our neighbor has a 3 year old daughter who seems to enjoy spending most of her days at our home. Usually I don't mind since it helps entertain the girls and they are rather found of her. They have spent many an hour playing on the swing set or chasing each other around.

Lately, I've noticed a change in pecking order. It seems Ireland and her friend have paired up leaving my sweet Erin the third wheel. Ireland and her friend which we will call missy J are beginning to scheme to keep Erin from playing with them. Off they run to hide or lock Erin out of her own room so that Erin is excluded.

Erin of course will come crying to me wanting to know why they don't want to play with her, why they are running from her. "I just want to play" she sobs.

What do you I say? How do I answer? I don't know why kids do this. I don't know why someone must always be left out. So the only answer I felt comfortable giving was, "I'm sorry, want to come play with mommy?" The answer was a definitive no, she would rather be ignored by missy J and her sister than have to hang with momma.

It breaks my heart because I don't want that for my sweet girl. I want her to feel as if she belongs, that she has a place. I'm sure I'm making more of this than needed and hopefully next year with school she will quickly find her spot but until that happens my heart breaks for her because I know how it feels....and it just isn't fun!