Thursday, December 3, 2009

what message are our children really getting?

A couple days ago my 6 year old (Ireland) walks downstairs obviously upset and begins to protest what she is wearing. Getting her dressed in the mornings has always been a power struggle but today she was overly moody.

So my daughter looks at me and says, "but I hate this I am so fat". Now, my baby girl has never been fat a day in her life. She was only 5lbs and 11 oz. the day she was born.

While I am no longer a size zero I am not the type to go around talking about how fat I am or how unhappy I am with the way I look. I've always thought of it as a work in progress. At times the process may be rather slow but all the same I know I'm in charge.

To hear those words out of my daughter's mouth floored me. I looked at Sean who was looking at me and we immediately tried to find out why she was saying this. We pointed out how unfat she was and that what was important was to be healthy... eat healthy and to exercise. To which for the most part she does.

I mean this kid has stomach muscles that would make women in their 20's jealous. So this made me start wondering exactly where was my 6 year old getting this information. Why would she say this?

I have become increasingly upset with television because of the hidden comments in cartoons and the type of commercials that play during children's programing. Not to mention that some of the toys targeted towards girls are terrible. Take the Brat dolls for example. They wear very little clothing and carry around an even more upsetting attitude. For this reason they have been banned from my home.

Also, you shouldn't have a kids movie playing that will be filled with commercials about sexual lubricant or the latest horror film. Maybe this is just another sign that I am old, but I find it rather frightening how quickly we are forcing our children to grow up.

I hear about parents that allow their very young children to watch adult shows such as Dexter or movies such as Saw and then wonder why their children have anger issues or are depressed and scared.

Maybe it's time we parents took a step back and reminded ourselves that childhood may only last a short while but the impact during this time lasts the rest of their lives. Not only do we have to worry about what they watch but also how those commercials and toys shape our children's vision of the world.

It's a daily battle, one I know I don't always fight. However, I am hopeful that I can make good decisions for my children that will keep them healthy, safe, and allow them to enjoy their short childhood.

So what do you other parents or soon-to-be parents think? Should we think more about the television and toys we allow our children to be exposed to or is that being too protective?

3 comments:

neva lia said...

nice blog.......

Wenig Brenner said...

Hi Tiffany,

After reading your post, I thought I'd have my two cents' worth.

I'm not a parent, have no intention of being a parent, but I do have parents and they have successfully raised three (I being one) children into their teens and beyond that have turned out well with no insecurities about body image or self-confidence.

The way you handled your daughter's comment was perfect - responsible, mature, direct and effective.

However, I think I share the same thoughts as you in that the amount of media in existence that warps and bends children's minds to the whim of what is most of the time, the fashion and cosmetic industry, is a disgrace.

Sadly, as parents, you are able to control only the after-effect of children's exposure to these media, which as I mentioned, you seem to have done well, so good job. I think with your daughter who sounds more fit and healthy than I'll probably ever be, it is a matter of simply reinforcing your message without swamping her with 'anti-industry' ideas and materials.

Good luck.

Wenig.

www.wenigbrenner.blogspot.com

DS said...

Hi Tiffany,
To start off, I am a brother to a little sister who is five years younger than me. I don't watch a whole lot of television myself, nor did I ever play with anything in my preschool years. My parents said it was hard to get me to concentrate on a toy, which doesn't surprise me if you would just see what my attention span is like. Anyways, just through the television that my sister and her friends watch, she has become really sassy towards me as her brother. During the day I am the one that normally watches her, and I've picked up the vibe that most television shows portray. They always show the brother and sister fighting and I think my sister has attached to that concept.

I have also found that her speech is different. She'll use more of a tone, different words, and other slang that she picks up from these television shows. Hopefully my parents can get her away from the fake stuff and back into reality.

Sincerely,
Dustin
http://youthfulwritings.blogspot.com
http://aglimpseofnature.blogspot.com