time running out

I've been delaying writing this blog. Thinking somehow that complete excitement would take over and this sense of dread and sadness would leave. However, I've waited a week and while I am excited....the feelings of dread and sadness are gathering a storm overhead.

The wonderful news... we have found a house and are currently set to close the end of this month. With this wonderful news comes the stark reality that children and I will be living by ourselves in new house for at least 5 months since husband's new store opening has been pushed until summer.

While I will be near family thus will have help I really don't want to make this move without husband. I really don't want to take on parenting solo....or for that matter getting the girls registered for school, celebrating wee ones first birthday, setting up a home, and the thousand other things I will now have to do solo...just one parent....just me.

While husband will talk with the kids on the phone each day and will venture in on weekends when he isn't working, there is still going to be much more time without him than with him.

You see, I'm one of those wives who actually enjoys spending time with my husband. I'm one of those people who would rather spend an evening home with hubby than out drinking or at some party or well... anything. I enjoy talking to him and we do a good amount of talking. I enjoy being with him.

While I know that we can survive this minor separation I know that the empty place in the bed at night or the excitement from the kids the moment he walks in the door can't be replaced by a phone call or a visit every once in a while. There will be a noticeable void in our lives.

I worry that phone calls will become sad because he will be missing the kids (and I) while we are missing him. The phone calls will become a reminder that he can't be with us, and the visits, a reminder that he must leave us.

They (not sure who "they" really are) say that growing usually is difficult. Given how easy everything has been to this point I can't help but wonder if this is the price we must pay to move.

So, tomorrow we are off to spend some time in WV. See the home we are purchasing once more, deal with inspections and appraisals and size up furniture, visit with friends and family, and hopefully some much needed family time.

In 3 weeks we make the move....we close on the house and take up a new residence. We set up home knowing that after a very short few days a very important part of the family must travel back without us and it will be several weeks before we see him again.

3 weeks left in NC....3 weeks left of beach babies....3 weeks left with NC family and friends...3 weeks of beach sunsets and sunrises...3 weeks left of the smell of the ocean each time I leave the house...3 weeks left of a united family. Gosh, is just doesn't seem like enough time. No time at all really.