reflections after mass

Have you ever taken the time to really look at someone?

I'm not much of a people watcher or a people person for that matter. I usually manage to say something silly that makes very little sense to most people. I suppose my agoraphobia is part to blame for it but I'm just not a social butterfly.

I am however someone who looks at people. I see a mother out with her small children and I try to read her face...is she having a good day? Is she about to pull her hair out? I see a couple pull up beside me in their car....I wonder what they are going to be doing together. Are they taking in a movie? Maybe just to the grocery store...or maybe the doctor's office.

I make a great attempt to look beyond the clothing, the make-up, the face we all put forward and attempt to catch a glimpse of who the person really is....connect on a more human level.

I'd never given this practice much thought until this past Sunday during Mass in which Fr. spoke of the holy family and putting them upon a pedestal and how when we do that, they become untouchable, with unattainable attributes.

For us Catholics it seems that people with unattainable attributes surround us, constantly reminding us of what we should be striving for... and yet never seem to get there. The list is never ending....saints upon saints, the holy family, Jesus, God, the Pope, and many priests. We put our religious leaders on a pedestal and expect things out of them we wouldn't expect out of ourselves.

"Yes, but he is our religious leader," one might say. In truth, isn't he just like you and I? His desires, hopes, dreams, frustrations, anxieties don't change simply because he is a priest? I venture to say that he is a man, just like your husband, brother, father, son.

I have met my fair share of priests....ones that seem untouchable for several reasons. The priest who is stern...the one who is constantly happy, the one in constant reflection, the quiet one. All, simply....another face. Do you truly believe that the one who isn't overly friendly doesn't need a friend? Do you truly believe someone is happy every moment? Do you truly believe that they are so different than you?

Yes, it can be rather difficult to see our religious leaders as mere mortals...just regular people like you and I....but.....don't we owe them that? With placing such unattainable qualities on them aren't we cheating ourselves out of a rewarding experience while cheating them out of a most common human right, to be themselves?

I am lucky that within my life I have several wonderful people who challenge and guide me spiritually. They all have their own mountains to climb and valleys to cross. I often find myself looking at them....truly looking, searching for that most common quality that says, "I'm just like you." More often than not I am graced to see it and when I do I find I love the person even more for it.

I love them more because it's easy to put on our face and hide but it takes a much stronger person to remove the face and say, " I struggle, I've fallen, but I trust you to allow me to be myself."

I'm sure I over analyze just about everything that enters into my mind. However, every once in a while it allows me to grow as a person and see something in a new light.

Example, I've been thinking a lot about the homily at Christmas Mass. Fr. Robert spoke of being tired of the question, "What did you get" and that it should be more about, "What did you give".

It shouldn't be about some gift we bought or some gift we gave but rather what are we giving of ourselves. When I think of giving in this manner I believe it must come from your inner most being....giving not only with your heart but with your soul. It's about giving something that can't be bought or wrapped.

The sad part about it all is that often times it doesn't take a whole lot to give in this manner and still we don't do it.

It starts with simple things, giving someone a hug or a smile, letting someone know how much you love them, appreciate them, value their friendship. It starts with helping a perfect stranger for no reason other than they needed help.

So on this last day in 2007 (being one who detests resolutions and thinks they are often silly) I believe I owe it not only to myself but to those around me, to stop holding people to unattainable qualities and make more of an effort to be a better all around person. Be someone who is less concerned with what is going on in my own life and more open and willing to reach out (even if it does mean working on being a better people person and a better social butterfly if you will).

Don't worry, I still won't be attending parties or blogging about rainbows and butterflies...I'm still the same sarcastic girl. I'm just going to live with a little more light for others because at it turns out....it really isn't all about my life.