This morning started off rather well. It was kind of like a Saturday. The girls didn't have preschool and we slept in later than normal and then enjoyed a leisurely breakfast.
During this time however I received a phone call. One that I had anticipated happening for weeks now. On the other end of the line was my husband...explaining that his store opening had indeed been pushed back and now he was rather uncertain when he would be moving home.
We have went from the end of May to looking more like July/August now. I have been living without him, raising our children, and attempting to rebuild a home since the end of January. It is beginning to wear on the kids, him, and myself.
We have lived separately for almost 5 months now. We only get to see one another about once a month and even those visits are only a few days. It is beginning to feel like he will never live here with us.
I know that as difficult it is on us, for him it is rather lonely. Constantly coming home to an empty house that isn't his own. Constantly eating alone and no leisure activities with friends. At least I have friends and family that are attempting to keep the children and I busy in his absence.
I want Sean home more than anything and I'm rather fearful that summer will come and go and I will find myself taking the girls to their first day of kindergarten without him. I'm afraid he is going to miss this and so many other moments. He has already missed so many moments.
He's missed Michael's first steps, missed the girls first season of soccer, missed on all the wonderful and special moments that have taken place lately.
He now faces being homeless on top of everything else. Given that summer has started the homes are being rented which puts Sean on the street. Given how much the prices go up during summer it doesn't look promising that he could just get a hotel room either...that is if one where to be available.
He's worried about ever getting home, worried about having a roof over his head...and well I am too.
Absence may make the heart grow fonder but I'm tried of waiting...I'm ready to get back to married life. Ready to feel whole again.
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