back to the norm

Today the girls returned to school after almost 2 weeks off. So to some degree life is returning to our norm. Mornings are busy with the girls rushing around getting ready for school and husband getting ready for work.

However, I'm surprised to say I miss my girls. I was very anxious with such a long break. Michael and I had worked out our routine while the girls were in school so to have that interrupted left me feeling somewhat out of control.

To my surprise the break was rather nice. No rushing in the evenings to get every thing in...no rush to stick to a strict bedtime. It was, shall we say, relaxed. While there were some hiccups along the way it was enjoyable.

So today, the house is much calmer, quieter, and lonelier.

While on the break I finished the baby's room. I painted it and then Sean and I put the crib together. Still several items needed and more decorating needed but if something should happen that baby boy arrives early...we are ready. That is if you don't count we are still in need of a name for our little guy.

It felt good to get the room ready and yet strange to think another little life will be entering our home before too long.

With each pregnancy I've been nervous. Constantly concerned that something might not be exactly right. How would we handle the change? The first, twins, I was mortified. How could I possibly care for two lives at once with no previous experience and no help. We lived 7 hours away from family and Sean was starting a new job.

With Michael I was just worried about how adding another life would change the family dynamic. We had perfected the family of 4 thing and while I was so excited to have my little boy I was worried about how I would deal with twins plus an infant.

This time, more than any other time, I'm worried about health. Thus far, we have been given no reason for concern other than extra heart tests which turned out fine. Still I have this nagging feeling that this one might prove to be more than I can handle. What if something goes wrong?

I should point out that I've worried about the health of the baby with each pregnancy so maybe the "more than any other time" is simply that I'm currently in the midst.

The next several months should prove to be very interesting with my ever growing belly/baby, girls full time in school and starting the soccer season soon, Michael a constant toddler, and momma trying to prep the house for another little life.

It's hectic, crazy, full of energy. So, yes, it's life back to normal for us which even though I miss my girls is nice because it means we are moving forward.