27

Today is my birthday and while my husband seems to be taking great joy in pointing out I'm no longer "young" I have the feeling I haven't been "young" for a very long time.

Looking back at the years that have passed I'm struck by the number of birthdays that were in so many ways just another day. My mother always did a great job of celebrating the day I was born but to me the hype of the day sometimes didn't transcend.

As kids we tend to build up such days, look at them as they are to be the greatest day, almost as big as Christmas. Often times such hype can leave us wanting.

As an adult I know that while my birthday is special it is in actuality just another day. Life beyond my own front door continues to pass with little notice of it's meaning to me, which is just as it should be.

Another thing I have noticed about my birthday is that for some reason I'm saddened by the day. I remember at 13 spending the day in my room, mostly crying. For what reason, I do not know.

My 15th birthday was spent wishing my grandmother and mom were home rather than at the hospital. The next day my grandmother died.

Now, since that birthday I admit celebrating became rather difficult. My birthday simply became a reminder that my grandmother was no longer around and given that at the time I was my momaw's girl it was and still is sad to think of yet another year she has missed out on.

As the years have passed I know that there will be moments with each birthday that the sadness of her departure will creep in, I know that I have many things to be proud of and am grateful to have made it through another year.

As a child we rush to celebrate, shout from the roof tops that it's our day and as we age the shouting gets quieter and quieter until it seems to become a whisper. Eventually it becomes less of our shouting and more of those around us shouting for us, and sometimes in spite of us.

While there will always be those that do not acknowledge our birthday's and those who seem to never forget, I believe the true celebration comes from the ability to look within ourselves and mark how far we have come. A declaration of "I've made it" and the understanding that with another year passing another one waits to be explored. We may not be guaranteed tomorrow but that doesn't mean we can't anticipate the adventure that awaits.

So with that spirit in mind, here is to the coming year and the many doors that will be opened and to those that will never open. I'm sure regardless of what happens it will definitely be an adventure...one I plan to enjoy even if it pains me along the way.

Also, here is to celebrating your special day...whatever day it may be. Embrace it, enjoy it, and know that it doesn't matter who celebrates with you as long as you are doing a little celebrating yourself.