Accepting the "out with the old"

Holidays change once you enter adulthood and find yourself with a family and responsibilities. No longer are you leisurely awaking to find your parents preparing breakfast or eager to see you arrive at your surprise. Once you find yourself with jobs, kids, and homes of your own it becomes more and more difficult to make the trips to see family.

When your childhood is built upon the idea that holidays are about family and suddenly you find yourself unable to make the "family" get-together it seems less like a holiday and more like any other day.

Since I became a wife I have spent more holidays away from family than with family. This is usually not by choice and in a few instances we have been lucky enough to have at least one family member visit. However, even with a select few family members visiting during a holiday is still leaves much to be desired. The hustle and bustle of carefully planning on seeing two different families without upsetting either set and the balancing of meals isn't the same. There are no houses to visit…no special meals to attend. Maybe I'm being a party pooper but I can't see the sense in preparing a large meal for two children (who would rather eat chalk than sit through a long meal) and two adults.

Some of the loneliness during these holidays are now filled with the imagination and wonder of small children but even that has its limits. Once the surprise is over and toys have been played with even the child is wanting more.

Maybe this year I reflect more simply because I am with child and thinking of how I might be spending his first Christmas….away from family. It isn't that the holidays aren't unbearable but rather the discontent I feel knowing my children aren't experiencing the craziness of family holidays. No Christmas Eve at Nana's followed by Christmas morning at Grandma's along with fitting in at least 2 Thanksgiving dinners and 2 Easter dinners not to mention making time for other family that has traveled in for the holiday.

No traditions….granted that isn't true. We have traditions they just aren't the traditions Sean and I grew up with thus not "our" traditions but ones we have somehow been forced to take on. Midnight mass just isn't the same at 7pm without the whole O'Sullivan clan…I miss midnight mass followed by the stop at the Wheby's party. Easter just isn't the same when you go to mass without any family and won't be seeing them at all during the day. Dinner isn't the same without the amazing family antics that take place regardless of where you are.

I want my children to understand that family is a part of holidays but when work and other responsibilities get in the way of carrying out that tradition what is one to do? Start new ones….even if they aren't the ones you want or even like. I guess though it is preparation for those years to follow in which I will be waiting for our children with spouses and kiddies in tow to stop by attempting the impossible balance of two families and all the craziness that follows.