does a mom ever really get to leave the home?

I used to be one of three SAHM within my husband's family...now there is only I. The other two have found rewarding (at least I'm hoping) opportunities within their children's schools.

Each day they drop off their children and then stick around to teach and fulfill other responsibilities. They have found a way to continue being a hands on involved mom while also creating some cash flow and being something other than a crazed house mom.

I guess I'm slightly envious since most of my days still involve keeping a house from burning to the ground while it occupies my three children. All day I clean, prep food, clean, change diapers, clean...oh and did I mention clean.

Laugh as you may but that is mainly what I do each day. By the way, I'm very sick of cleaning. No matter how much I do there is always more. I just want to end the cycle.

There is however a problem I see. Returning to work doesn't end this cycle. As my lovely sister-in-law has pointed out she not only is working now but she is still having to complete all of her other duties at home.

I honestly believe that some of my husband and I's arguments are fueled by the existence of "he works, she doesn't" attitude. My husband would say he is the first to point out that what I do is difficult but I often wonder if this is believed.

If I was to return to work would the work at home suddenly become shared? Would dishes and laundry and bathroom cleaning become a partnership? I must point out that my husband does help with the dishes and will occasionally do a couple other chores so it isn't as if I am completely alone on the whole housework issue...but you get my point.

I also realize that there are some husbands out there that do the cleaning and even the cooking. I wonder though, with the housework as a whole will a wife always in some way be the stay-at-home spouse? Regardless of employment beyond the homes walls will she be the one who must carry the work within the walls?

Some of this I believe is our own fault. We have a certain way we want things accomplished, a certain place things must be put. When our spouses offer help with the dishes do we feel the need to make remarks when they don't know where the dishes go or because they don't load the dishwasher as we would wish or are unable to wipe down the counter as we would like do we feel as if they weren't really helping? "Well, if he really wanted to help he would do it the way he knows I like it done."

Are we in essence hitting a gift horse in the mouth? Would we rather short change ourselves by taking on more than we must or would we rather have help?

Do we have the right to complain when we scoff at help when it's offered simply because, "he won't do it right"?

I suppose there is no simple solution, so perfect answer. There however is hope that we can all work towards a more equal partnership in which both parent, clean, work, and hopefully have fun.

who could forget MJ?

Dad, "Time for bed, let's say prayers."

Ireland, "let's pray for people."

Dad, "okay, who do you want to pray for?"

Erin, "daddy, mommy, michael, nana, gramma, pop, umm..."

Ireland, "erin, michael, pop, nana...and of course Michael Jordan."

from story pusher to soccer mom...all in one day

I have 3 children...each with their own attitude, personality, and thrill for life. They each have a different way of taking in the world around them. All 3 with something to add to this world...but, what do I have to add to their life? What is it that I can share with them to incorporate a little of what it is that I love from life?

Currently, I share my love of reading. This love I've had since 3rd grade and well I still find myself buried in a book given the chance. Nothing beats a book that pulls at your emotions and leaves you excited to find what happens upon the following pages.

Each evening we read a portion of a book while sharing short stories from books throughout the day. Given that the girls and wee one seem to be in constant play mode getting them to sit still and listen while reading is very difficult. I'm never sure of their comprehension, but the way I look at it is that I'm laying building blocks. I'm offering them something a television or toy can not...I'm offering them a chance to explore the world through words without ever leaving the room. I'm offering them the ability to sit and be present in the moment...a chance to be quiet, patient, and open to possibility... anticipating the next page.

Finding ways to encourage reading is fairly simple. Last year for the girls' 4th birthday they began receiving Hi-5 as one of their gifts. For Christmas they received books along side their other treasures. For Easter this year they will get books for night reading and leapPad books so they can continue learning and hopefully learn how to read some on their own.

Wee one may be a little too small to appreciate a good book but he sure does seem to enjoy being read to and exploring the pictures upon the pages.

Reading isn't my only love however...which is why the girls are starting soccer this year and hopefully will enter ballet this fall. I want my children to enjoy a good book in between loving all things athletic...well maybe not all things but I want them to enjoy staying active.

So for this soccer mom...I'm going to continue pushing a few books my children's way and hope that eventually they learn what an incredible gift reading can be. Who knows, they might even find a favorite along the way.

an afternoon to remember

Have you ever experienced true wonder through the eyes of your child? Several days ago I ventured to the beach with all 3 kids for an afternoon of all things sand (hoping that I would get a moment to just sit and stare at the ocean....cause it apparently calms me more than anything else I've found).

Upon sitting wee one down he was filled with an incredible urge to explore. His eyes and hands first found the sand. He sat amazed by how it ran through his little hands. He picked it up, let it run through his hands, picked it up again, and finally attempted to throw some.

Then, very suddenly he looked up. It was as if everything else on this big world vanished. He saw it...the ocean. His eyes filled with what I can only call wonder and off he went...heading for the water at break neck speed.

It isn't like he hasn't seen it before...he spent most of the summer visiting with a couple visits this fall and winter. I suppose though that he wasn't old enough to truly be intrigued. This time however, he saw it...in all it's glory.

He crawled the fastest I've ever seen him move. Without distraction he made it so close before I grabbed him up because well cold wet babies mixed with sand is never really a fun idea.

Slowly I carried him back to where the girls sat playing. He never took his eyes off the water. He was enamored. The moment I sat him down off he went again. He did this three times before settling on sitting and simply watching it.

After a good 30 minutes he finally gave in to his sisters and began to demolish their buildings, finding great joy in manipulating the sand with his tiny fingers.

I must admit that his instant love with this small piece of the world filled me with great joy and great sadness. I was taking this away from him. He had just discovered its grandeur and amazement and here I would be pulling him back to WV.

We still have three weeks before we make the trek back to the mountains but I still feel very sad knowing that I will be leaving this special place that I love so much. I could easily be one of those hermits who live in a tent on the beach...well at least until summer was in full swing.

To see my son so mystified by this place only served to make me feel even more connected to him. Maybe, regardless of where we live my children will be beach bum babies. Maybe, someday we will live here again...in a world of swimsuits, sand, and that sweet ocean air.

Until then, moments like these will fill my thoughts giving me a peace I can't even begin to describe.

Plus, it isn't like living in WV is so bad...this spring will be filled with little girls learning soccer, hiking, and some wonderful family....and who knows maybe a beach visit or two.

(I tried several times to upload pictures from our outing but for some reason the computer won't allow me to upload.) Maybe later, I'll find a way...check back for photos.)