Friday, August 31, 2007
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
taking over the internet one blog at a time
There are a ton on blogs by moms out there! I don't know if you have noticed but there are hundreds, thousands....they are everywhere and apparently taking over.
I started reading them about a year ago and just finally got up the nerve to start publishing my own. I am still in awe of how many moms find the time to write each day...or even every couple of days.
Then this morning I was reading this blog and the question was asked, "what do you sacrifice and what are you unwilling to give up?" Suddenly, a light bulb went off in my mind.
Why are there so many blogging mothers out there? Well, through blogging they get to connect with the real world. A world that they are slowly taking over. Computer time is becoming more and more important over other small personal desires...even a daily shower.
Ask a blogging mother if they would rather take 4 showers a week and continue their computer time or give up the computer time for a daily shower....my bet is the thought of giving up that computer time is enough to drive them crazy.
During this special time a mom is allowed to connect to millions of other moms or even just other adults if she wishes. She is allowed to put her thoughts, fear, concerns, and advice out there and other people actually listen. They take notice, they respond.
This limited contact with the outside world leaves the mother with a sense of accomplishment. She produced something today besides diaper changes, or well fed children, or even a clean house (which let's be honest...the house is never always clean). This small amount of contact helps make the long journey a little easier.
With wonderful bloggers like her and her out there and cool places like this and this the mothering world doesn't seem so small...plus it helps drive the point that you aren't alone.
So, accolades to mom bloggers and their willingness to create even just a little time to share their minds with the rest of us.
I started reading them about a year ago and just finally got up the nerve to start publishing my own. I am still in awe of how many moms find the time to write each day...or even every couple of days.
Then this morning I was reading this blog and the question was asked, "what do you sacrifice and what are you unwilling to give up?" Suddenly, a light bulb went off in my mind.
Why are there so many blogging mothers out there? Well, through blogging they get to connect with the real world. A world that they are slowly taking over. Computer time is becoming more and more important over other small personal desires...even a daily shower.
Ask a blogging mother if they would rather take 4 showers a week and continue their computer time or give up the computer time for a daily shower....my bet is the thought of giving up that computer time is enough to drive them crazy.
During this special time a mom is allowed to connect to millions of other moms or even just other adults if she wishes. She is allowed to put her thoughts, fear, concerns, and advice out there and other people actually listen. They take notice, they respond.
This limited contact with the outside world leaves the mother with a sense of accomplishment. She produced something today besides diaper changes, or well fed children, or even a clean house (which let's be honest...the house is never always clean). This small amount of contact helps make the long journey a little easier.
With wonderful bloggers like her and her out there and cool places like this and this the mothering world doesn't seem so small...plus it helps drive the point that you aren't alone.
So, accolades to mom bloggers and their willingness to create even just a little time to share their minds with the rest of us.
Monday, August 27, 2007
to the other woman...from the one he'll leave behind
Today I found myself watching some reality show on MTV in which they follow these teenagers who are engaged and preparing to get married. With the few shows I watched, each couple spent a good amount of time fighting about each other's parents.
Within moments of watching I began to feel old....really old. Instead of identifying with these youngsters and their "young" problems I felt like the parent. The overbearing, uncool, and terribly misunderstood parents. These parents who were begging their children to wait, pleading with their children to understand that marriage is hard and wanting to know why the rush. These "parents" regardless of their terrible terrible attitudes and even worse tactics were in fact just trying to protect their children...protect them from the harsh reality that life is not a fairytale.
I was a young bride. I married just slightly a month after I turned 20. And...to just clear up any misconceptions...I wasn't pregnant, I was in love. I didn't marry out of a whim, I didn't marry out of misguided emotions. I married because I managed to find my best friend and companion in another. Granted, I suppose it didn't hurt that I had experienced enough of life to know a good thing when I saw it.
Upon marrying in January I found myself with child...well children...yes twins...by November. I had yet to finish college, was living 6.5 hours from the nearest family, and was pregnant with twins. To say life was moving fast didn't come close.
Now over 5 years later with a college degree, 3 children, and hopefully more security I know it isn't easy. I now look at the journey through the eyes of a parent and apparently that makes all the difference in the world.
Upon watching that show I suddenly saw in that moment my son marrying some girl that hated me and my beautiful, sweet, wonderful boy was taken away. I know I'm years and years away from having to worry about that but the thought alone is enough to bring tears to my eyes.
Girls upon marriage seem to do a better job at keeping in touch with their mother but with boys... that's a different story. Their mother is replaced by their wife. And rightly so, but completely heartbreaking.
If the mother has a difficult relationship with the wife she will have limited or no contact with her son...at least so it seems. For now, I'll hold my sweet baby boy in my arms and enjoy each moment with him knowing that when the time comes I can't pick his wife for him..and wouldn't want to. But I know that regardless of what I see in her it's his opinion that counts. I have to accept his choice and make my best effort to love her because she will be the new portal in which I will view my son. She will be the one in which I entrust my son.
Now, being wife, daughter-in-law, and parent all in one...I only hope that I have made my mother-in-law proud and that she sees me as an asset to her son rather than an obstacle. It also wouldn't hurt to say a few prayers for the future....could it?
Within moments of watching I began to feel old....really old. Instead of identifying with these youngsters and their "young" problems I felt like the parent. The overbearing, uncool, and terribly misunderstood parents. These parents who were begging their children to wait, pleading with their children to understand that marriage is hard and wanting to know why the rush. These "parents" regardless of their terrible terrible attitudes and even worse tactics were in fact just trying to protect their children...protect them from the harsh reality that life is not a fairytale.
I was a young bride. I married just slightly a month after I turned 20. And...to just clear up any misconceptions...I wasn't pregnant, I was in love. I didn't marry out of a whim, I didn't marry out of misguided emotions. I married because I managed to find my best friend and companion in another. Granted, I suppose it didn't hurt that I had experienced enough of life to know a good thing when I saw it.
Upon marrying in January I found myself with child...well children...yes twins...by November. I had yet to finish college, was living 6.5 hours from the nearest family, and was pregnant with twins. To say life was moving fast didn't come close.
Now over 5 years later with a college degree, 3 children, and hopefully more security I know it isn't easy. I now look at the journey through the eyes of a parent and apparently that makes all the difference in the world.
Upon watching that show I suddenly saw in that moment my son marrying some girl that hated me and my beautiful, sweet, wonderful boy was taken away. I know I'm years and years away from having to worry about that but the thought alone is enough to bring tears to my eyes.
Girls upon marriage seem to do a better job at keeping in touch with their mother but with boys... that's a different story. Their mother is replaced by their wife. And rightly so, but completely heartbreaking.
If the mother has a difficult relationship with the wife she will have limited or no contact with her son...at least so it seems. For now, I'll hold my sweet baby boy in my arms and enjoy each moment with him knowing that when the time comes I can't pick his wife for him..and wouldn't want to. But I know that regardless of what I see in her it's his opinion that counts. I have to accept his choice and make my best effort to love her because she will be the new portal in which I will view my son. She will be the one in which I entrust my son.
Now, being wife, daughter-in-law, and parent all in one...I only hope that I have made my mother-in-law proud and that she sees me as an asset to her son rather than an obstacle. It also wouldn't hurt to say a few prayers for the future....could it?
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